All is well. But it wasn't at 5 am this morning.

I went to bed last night possibly more exhausted than I've been in a long time. I kept an eye on the puppies and would get up and cover them with a little towel if they felt cold but I didn't actually watch to see if they were nursing. Rule #1. Don't sleep when you have newborn puppies. You can sleep when you die (and after not sleeping for nights it will seem like you will die).
At 5 am I heard that not so familiar death cry from the little boy. I jumped up immediately to tend to the puppy and called Sue. Poor Sue. I heard she gets up early, but probably not at 5 am on a regular day. I told her to come and help me tube feed this little boy. He was so weak and had gone downhill quickly compared to the night before. We decided I should call the vet first which I did but it went to vm. I called Sue back and in a minute he was stretching his little body backwards and gasping for air. I told Sue he was dying. Omg. Poor me. Poor Sue! I told him no. I just couldn't lose this little baby puppy. At that point the vet called me back and she walked me thru to give him oxygen which I did and he came around immediately. I was warming him up and within 10-15 minutes I could hold him on Tirzah and he would nurse. I suddenly saw the event with the chicken had big meaning. That chicken was dead, nearly and this puppy was doing the same thing. But now I thought he would rally like that chicken did. I couldn't even tell you which one she was now.
I have had a few litters. Not a lot, but over the course of 22 years, I'm thinking 8 or 10 that I've whelped. I've always been hard core about never tubing, because in my mind a puppy that doesn't come out vigorous is not an ideal candidate to pass on genes. And I didn't even know how to tube. There have been a few puppies (though not a lot) that I let go see the light and some that now I wished I hadn't been so hardcore, like SeaB's two sisters that were just small and weak. Very much like this little boy was when he was born. Now that Kaia is gone and was the love of my life, I regret that decision.
So fast forward to this litter that wasn't so easy to be hard core. I have so much invested in it, emotionally and financially. Losing two right off the bat was sad, but I'm not willing to lose this baby for hard core beliefs. So never say never. Life is really too complicated.
So now the baby boy sleeps a lot on me. He's happiest when I put him on my belly and hold him. And he's finally gained weight. The little girl is sturdy and strong, and I am so happy about that.